March 6, 2013
Greg's Top Ten Living Actors/Actresses Who Flamed Out Too Quickly:
1. Haley Joel Osment - I was determined he was going to be a superstar after watching him nail his breakout role in the Sixth Sense. Good luck trying to name two decent movies he's been in since then. And, no, A.I. and Pay it Forward don't qualify as decent movies.
2. Christian Slater - Nevermind that his mother, Mary Jo Slater, is one of Hollywood's most successful casting directors and producers. It seems her son Christian can't buy a role unless it goes directly to DVD or gets cancelled before it gets going (see Breaking In, The Forgotten and My Own Worst Enemy). Perhaps I'm just nostalgic for the Chrisitan of old who starred in classics like "Pump Up the Volume" and "Heathers."
3. Val Kilmer - Seriously, did Val Kilmer eat Slider and Wolfman? Have you seen him lately? The man looks like an aircraft carrier. My hope was that the weight gain was for a role he was preparing for. Alas, he's just let himself go the route of Marlon Brando, who ballooned up nicely after being a heartthrob for decades. The last good movie Kilmer starred in was the brilliant Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang from 2005.
4. Natasha Lyonne - I loved her in Slums of Beverly Hills and thought she was a "can't miss" star waiting to happen. Today, she might actually be living in a slum. After multiple arrests for substance abuse, she's not exactly on anyone's A-list these days.
5. Eddie Furlong - He inspired this list with his recent six month prison sentencing for violating probation. After starring as John Connor in Terminator 2 and making a brief comeback in the disturbing American History X, he's likley finished in Hollywood.
6. Macaulay Culkin - Yeah, that whole "cute kid from Home Alone" thing didn't last too long. He followed up his adorable turns in "Uncle Buck" and "Home Alone" by ruining his squeaky-clean image with an arrest for drugs and a short marriage to actress Rachel Miner. At least he rebounded by dating Mila Kunis.
7. Corey Feldman - Bash me all you want for putting him on the list. He's a 80s icon and has been in some of the best movies of the decade including "The Lost Boys", "The Goonies" and "Stand By Me" before his career flamed out.
8. Cuba Gooding Jr. - How do you follow up an Academy Award win? By starring in "Snow Dogs" of course! Seriously, is Scooby Doo your agent?
9. Adam Sandler - I bash poor Adam Sandler quite a bit on here but with good reason. His movies suck harder than a two-dollar hooker and leave you just as satisfied. What bites about his career path is that he used to actually be REALLY funny. Today he just mails it in at every turn with crap like "Jack & Jill" and "That's My Boy" both of which earned Sandler Razzie Awards.
10. Kathleen Turner - Remember her? Sadly, few people under the age of 30 do and it's a damn shame.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
March 5, 2013
Top Ten Least Favorite Things About Star Wars Prequels:
1. Overusage of Special Effects
2. Underusage of Character Development
3. Completely Losing Sight of how Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader was a tragic hero and turning him into a bratty, snot-nosed kid who nobody felt sorry for.
4. Jar Jar Binks
5. Killing of the Most Interesting Character in the series (Darth Maul) and giving him one of the dumbest death scenes in the history of the Star Wars saga.
6. Turning an actress as brilliant as Natalie Portman into a talentless hack who delivered lines about as convincingly as Lindsay Lohan.
7. Making the prequels look sleeker and more modern than the sequels which take place before the prequels. I know it sounds confusing but think REAL HARD about it.
8. Jar Jar Binks
9. The refusal of certain Star Wars junkies to admit that the prequels are a steaming pile of donkey crap. No, really, they are. In fact, I'd rather watch two donkeys create a steaming pile of donkey crap than watch those pitiful excuses for movies.
10. The fact that I actually tried to convince myself that I enjoyed the first two movies in the prequel trilogy after first viewing them and now having to admit I was completely in denial of how ridiculously stupid they were.
Top Ten Least Favorite Things About Star Wars Prequels:
1. Overusage of Special Effects
2. Underusage of Character Development
3. Completely Losing Sight of how Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader was a tragic hero and turning him into a bratty, snot-nosed kid who nobody felt sorry for.
4. Jar Jar Binks
5. Killing of the Most Interesting Character in the series (Darth Maul) and giving him one of the dumbest death scenes in the history of the Star Wars saga.
6. Turning an actress as brilliant as Natalie Portman into a talentless hack who delivered lines about as convincingly as Lindsay Lohan.
7. Making the prequels look sleeker and more modern than the sequels which take place before the prequels. I know it sounds confusing but think REAL HARD about it.
8. Jar Jar Binks
9. The refusal of certain Star Wars junkies to admit that the prequels are a steaming pile of donkey crap. No, really, they are. In fact, I'd rather watch two donkeys create a steaming pile of donkey crap than watch those pitiful excuses for movies.
10. The fact that I actually tried to convince myself that I enjoyed the first two movies in the prequel trilogy after first viewing them and now having to admit I was completely in denial of how ridiculously stupid they were.
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