May 8, 2013

Greg's Top Ten Shows That Lasted Way Too Long (part 1 today, part 2 tomorrow):

1. How I Met Your Mother: There was a time I used to look so forward to watching this program. It was the highlight of my television schedule for several years and most of that was due to the incredibly hilarious portrayal of the womanizing Barney portrayed by Neil Patrick Harris. Once Barney cut off his own manhood and started "falling in love" with the Robin, played by Cobie Smulders, I started losing interest. It's not that I have any problem with falling in love. In fact, I think that Jason Segal and Alyson Hannigan fill that role quite nicely on the program as lovebirds Marshall and Lily. But the reason the show was awesome was because Barney balanced out the other characters who were constantly chasing love by being the one guy who was chasing tail. Once he stopped being a chauvinistic pig, the show stopped being Legen...wait for it...dary. These days I struggle to watch and just want Ted to finally reveal to us who the mother of his kids are and did we really need nine seasons for that to happen?

2. Miami Vice: Yeah, that's right. Miami Vice. For those of you who don't recall or are too young to remember, Miami Vice was one of the most watched and revered shows of the 1980s. It was the perfect 80s crime drama centered around colorful MTV music, hip fashion and the excessively suave Miami backdrop. The first three seasons were awesome and kept me completely interested, mostly because there was a perfect blend of style and substance. The writing was top notch and the stories were gripping. Then, sometime between seasons 3 and 4, the show took a massive nosedive into stupidity. I mean, seriously, anyone who has ever watched Miami Vice with any regularity can point to Season 4 Episode 7 (Missing Hours) as being the moment the show jumped the shark and ceased to be awesome. The original writers of the show left by the time Season 4 debuted and if you get the chance to watch "Missing Hours" you'll wonder if the writers were replaced by 12 year-old children. Nothing says "Miami Vice" quite like Sonny & Crockett encountering a UFO and James Brown portraying an alien. It's beyond stupid and the show never recovered. Mercifully, the show only lasted two more seasons but they were both terrible.

3. Roseanne: There was a time when Roseanne used to be about a down on their luck family with real issues. Then Roseanne won the lottery, Dan (John Goodman) died and the whole show went to crap. When the entire show is based on the premise that the family at the center of the show is going through real life issues and struggles it seems impossible to me that someone thought winning the lottery was a good turn for the show to take. It's beyond ridiculous. The comedy of Roseanne was the tragedy. The tragedy about the Connor family winning the lottery is that the writers stole the integrity of one of the best programs on television.

4. Cosby Show: I think it's fairly safe to say that when a show introduces a new kid character, it's trying too hard to stay fresh. I can think of no better example than when, in Season 6, The Cosby Show introduced us to Olivia (Raven Symone). I guess having all those cool kids in the house wasn't enough so they needed to bring on board arguably one of the most annoying human beings on the planet to play Denise's (Lisa Bonet) bratty stepdaughter. From the moment Symone joined the cast it seemed every episode was inundated with her character. Raven Symone still annoys the crap out of me to this day and I have wonder if she's "acting" at all when she plays the extremely precocious Olivia on The Cosby Show. Stop watching The Cosby Show after Season 5 ends and save your sanity.

5. Seinfeld: Let's just say I've still never really forgiven the writers for the final episode, which has to be one of the biggest letdowns in the history of television finales. It's utterly embarrassing to say the least and even the most zealous Seinfeld apologists will tell you it's a terrible way to end the show. I enjoyed the writers bringing back old characters. After all, I do love nostalgia, but the way it ended with everyone getting "revenge" on the main characters and ultimately sending them to prison was lame. I can't really say I know any single better way to end it because there are probably a million better ways to have done it.