April 23, 2012
Greg's Top Ten Favorite Shakespeare Works:
1. Twelfth Night
2. A Midsummer Night's Dream
3. Much Ado About Nothing
4. Macbeth
5. Othello
6. The Tempest
7. As You Like It
8. A Comedy of Errors
9. The Merchant of Venice
10. All's Well That Ends Well
Monday, April 23, 2012
April 22, 2012
Greg's Top Ten Things That Are Like Death and Taxes (1-5 Today, 6-10 Yesterday):
5. You’ll Live A Fuller Life Than Kim Kardashian: I have no idea how she sleeps at night knowing how much she is despised by the world. I think it would drive me absolutely insane to know that virtually every person on the planet thinks I’m a complete joke of a person. If she’s even 10% the superficial jerk she appears to be she’s a miserable human being. There’s a little part of me that hopes one day she’ll blow everyone away by sell everything she owns and join the Peace Corps for five years but I think we all know that’s about as likely as the Cubs winning a World Series in the next 100 years. It could happen, but we all know better.
4. Auto Mechanics Will Be Perceived To Be Con-Artists: Has anyone with average car knowledge actually ever gone to an auto mechanic they didn’t know and felt completely confident they were getting charged appropriately? Anyone? They could be completely legit and charge you the fair market value and you’ll probably still think you’re getting jacked. You go in for one simple repair and before you know it you’re having a complete overhaul that costs 10 times what you expected.
3. Pat Sajak and Vanna White Will Never Age: I used to watch Wheel of Fortune with my parents back in the 1980s, right around the time Vanna White tried her hand at acting. Anyone remember the absolutely awful movie “Goddess of Love” that aired in 1988. There’s a reason why Vanna White isn’t given many speaking lines on Wheel of Fortune and that bomb of a movie is proof. But I digress. Sajak and White must be drinking from the same Kool-Aid that Dick Clark did for so many years because they don’t look a day past 1988.
2. Hall and Oates Will Play At The Mountain Winery: I swear, those two fools will be long dead and they’ll still be on the summer schedule for the Mountain Winery. The staff will just roll their old bones out there and make them play “Maneater.” Has anyone ever recalled a time before 1995 when they didn’t play a show in the summer at the Winery? Heck, I may as well put Huey Lewis and The News up there, too, not that I would ever sit front row at a Huey Lewis concert at the Winery. No. No. No. Not me. Ok, maybe that one time.
1. Life Will Go On: Call it a cliche, but I try to live by these words quite often. Death. Taxes. Life will go on. Even when things seem insurmountable, I feel as though somehow, someway, things work out. They may not necessarily work out the way you planned, but they work out. In fact, most of the time I feel as though things don’t work out exactly as planned, but we humans are a flexible bunch. We make it work, somehow. I still can’t believe all the crap I’ve been through in my life that I’ve managed to bounce back from. It’s the getting through it that sucks, but the light at the end of the tunnel can be so rewarding.
Greg's Top Ten Things That Are Like Death and Taxes (1-5 Today, 6-10 Yesterday):
5. You’ll Live A Fuller Life Than Kim Kardashian: I have no idea how she sleeps at night knowing how much she is despised by the world. I think it would drive me absolutely insane to know that virtually every person on the planet thinks I’m a complete joke of a person. If she’s even 10% the superficial jerk she appears to be she’s a miserable human being. There’s a little part of me that hopes one day she’ll blow everyone away by sell everything she owns and join the Peace Corps for five years but I think we all know that’s about as likely as the Cubs winning a World Series in the next 100 years. It could happen, but we all know better.
4. Auto Mechanics Will Be Perceived To Be Con-Artists: Has anyone with average car knowledge actually ever gone to an auto mechanic they didn’t know and felt completely confident they were getting charged appropriately? Anyone? They could be completely legit and charge you the fair market value and you’ll probably still think you’re getting jacked. You go in for one simple repair and before you know it you’re having a complete overhaul that costs 10 times what you expected.
3. Pat Sajak and Vanna White Will Never Age: I used to watch Wheel of Fortune with my parents back in the 1980s, right around the time Vanna White tried her hand at acting. Anyone remember the absolutely awful movie “Goddess of Love” that aired in 1988. There’s a reason why Vanna White isn’t given many speaking lines on Wheel of Fortune and that bomb of a movie is proof. But I digress. Sajak and White must be drinking from the same Kool-Aid that Dick Clark did for so many years because they don’t look a day past 1988.
2. Hall and Oates Will Play At The Mountain Winery: I swear, those two fools will be long dead and they’ll still be on the summer schedule for the Mountain Winery. The staff will just roll their old bones out there and make them play “Maneater.” Has anyone ever recalled a time before 1995 when they didn’t play a show in the summer at the Winery? Heck, I may as well put Huey Lewis and The News up there, too, not that I would ever sit front row at a Huey Lewis concert at the Winery. No. No. No. Not me. Ok, maybe that one time.
1. Life Will Go On: Call it a cliche, but I try to live by these words quite often. Death. Taxes. Life will go on. Even when things seem insurmountable, I feel as though somehow, someway, things work out. They may not necessarily work out the way you planned, but they work out. In fact, most of the time I feel as though things don’t work out exactly as planned, but we humans are a flexible bunch. We make it work, somehow. I still can’t believe all the crap I’ve been through in my life that I’ve managed to bounce back from. It’s the getting through it that sucks, but the light at the end of the tunnel can be so rewarding.
Friday, April 20, 2012
April 20, 2012
Greg's Top Ten Things That Are Like Death and Taxes (10-6 Today, 5-1 Tomorrow):
10. The Sharks Losing In The Playoffs: I've never been a hockey fan. Even though Canadian blood runs through my veins, I've just never been able to latch onto the sport. Perhaps that's a blessing because I'd almost surely be a Sharks fan and if history tells me anything it's that Sharks fans will experience perennial heartache in the postseason. Actually, let me rephrase that. Sharks fans KNOW they'll experience perennial heartache in the postseason. They can see it coming because every year is the same tired old story. Compete for the playoffs. Make the playoffs. Lose in the playoffs. Thank you for coming. I'm not in any way shape or form knocking Sharks fans though - such a loyal bunch. But I feel as though they've put in their due diligence every year only to watch their beloved team let them down every single season.
9. Dick Clark Will Host New Year's Eve: Oh, crap. Wait. Too soon?
8. Saturday Night Live Will Somehow Not Get Cancelled: I know it's practically the equivalent of a television national monument at this point in it's run but aside from 1-2 skits per night, it's about as funny as watching Ishtar without the use of mind-altering drugs. And can someone please explain to me how Kristen Wiig became such a well-respected comic icon? She might be the least funny person on the show not named Kenan Thompson. Every skit she fumbles through her lines and plays the same crazed loon. If only Gilda Radner could come back and show her how real comedy is created. I sense that someday SNL will finally end it's tremendous run, but I don't see it happening anytime in the near future.
7. Nicolas Cage Will Act in Terrible Movies: Remember when he was so brilliant in "Raising Arizona" or when he won an Academy Award for "Leaving Las Vegas" back in 1995? Since the 1990s, when Cage was in his prime, he's been in some absolute dogs that probably didn't last more than a few weeks in theaters. "The Wicker Man", "Bangkok Dangerous" and "Drive Angry" are a far cry from movies like "The Rock" and "Face/Off". I realize Nicolas Cage has suffered financial burdens lately but how many absolute crap movies do you have to sign on for every year to pay off your debts? When you're getting about $5 million per movie I would think a pair of awful "Ghost Rider" movies would settle the bill.
6. MTV Will Play More Reality Shows Than Videos: I still can't get past how a network that calls itself Music Television dedicates over half of its lineup to shows that have nothing to do with music. "16 and Pregnant", "The Substitute", "The Pauly D Project", "Punk'd" and "Savage U" are just some of the, er, entertainment programs on MTV. Remember when shows like "Yo, MTV Raps", "Headbanger's Ball" and "Club MTV" were peppered into MTV's programming? What the hell happened? What stupid jagoff decided that reality shows that have no basis in reality were a more valuable product than shows that actually provide insight into the world of music? I can think of hundreds of music-related shows that would be more interesting than watching utter crap like "The Pauly D Project"
Greg's Top Ten Things That Are Like Death and Taxes (10-6 Today, 5-1 Tomorrow):
10. The Sharks Losing In The Playoffs: I've never been a hockey fan. Even though Canadian blood runs through my veins, I've just never been able to latch onto the sport. Perhaps that's a blessing because I'd almost surely be a Sharks fan and if history tells me anything it's that Sharks fans will experience perennial heartache in the postseason. Actually, let me rephrase that. Sharks fans KNOW they'll experience perennial heartache in the postseason. They can see it coming because every year is the same tired old story. Compete for the playoffs. Make the playoffs. Lose in the playoffs. Thank you for coming. I'm not in any way shape or form knocking Sharks fans though - such a loyal bunch. But I feel as though they've put in their due diligence every year only to watch their beloved team let them down every single season.
9. Dick Clark Will Host New Year's Eve: Oh, crap. Wait. Too soon?
8. Saturday Night Live Will Somehow Not Get Cancelled: I know it's practically the equivalent of a television national monument at this point in it's run but aside from 1-2 skits per night, it's about as funny as watching Ishtar without the use of mind-altering drugs. And can someone please explain to me how Kristen Wiig became such a well-respected comic icon? She might be the least funny person on the show not named Kenan Thompson. Every skit she fumbles through her lines and plays the same crazed loon. If only Gilda Radner could come back and show her how real comedy is created. I sense that someday SNL will finally end it's tremendous run, but I don't see it happening anytime in the near future.
7. Nicolas Cage Will Act in Terrible Movies: Remember when he was so brilliant in "Raising Arizona" or when he won an Academy Award for "Leaving Las Vegas" back in 1995? Since the 1990s, when Cage was in his prime, he's been in some absolute dogs that probably didn't last more than a few weeks in theaters. "The Wicker Man", "Bangkok Dangerous" and "Drive Angry" are a far cry from movies like "The Rock" and "Face/Off". I realize Nicolas Cage has suffered financial burdens lately but how many absolute crap movies do you have to sign on for every year to pay off your debts? When you're getting about $5 million per movie I would think a pair of awful "Ghost Rider" movies would settle the bill.
6. MTV Will Play More Reality Shows Than Videos: I still can't get past how a network that calls itself Music Television dedicates over half of its lineup to shows that have nothing to do with music. "16 and Pregnant", "The Substitute", "The Pauly D Project", "Punk'd" and "Savage U" are just some of the, er, entertainment programs on MTV. Remember when shows like "Yo, MTV Raps", "Headbanger's Ball" and "Club MTV" were peppered into MTV's programming? What the hell happened? What stupid jagoff decided that reality shows that have no basis in reality were a more valuable product than shows that actually provide insight into the world of music? I can think of hundreds of music-related shows that would be more interesting than watching utter crap like "The Pauly D Project"
Sunday, April 15, 2012
April 15, 2012
Greg's Top Ten Examples of Athletes Playing Themselves in Movies:
1. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in "Airplane"
2. Mike Tyson in "The Hangover 1 & 2"
3. Reggie Jackson in "The Naked Gun"
4. Dan Marino in "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"
5. Brett Favre in "There's Something About Mary"
6. Lawrence Taylor in "The Waterboy"
7. Michael Jordan in "Space Jam"
8. Lee Trevino in "Happy Gilmore"
9. Lance Armstrong in "Dodgeball"
10. Spud Webb in "Forget Paris"
Greg's Top Ten Examples of Athletes Playing Themselves in Movies:
1. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in "Airplane"
2. Mike Tyson in "The Hangover 1 & 2"
3. Reggie Jackson in "The Naked Gun"
4. Dan Marino in "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"
5. Brett Favre in "There's Something About Mary"
6. Lawrence Taylor in "The Waterboy"
7. Michael Jordan in "Space Jam"
8. Lee Trevino in "Happy Gilmore"
9. Lance Armstrong in "Dodgeball"
10. Spud Webb in "Forget Paris"
Friday, April 13, 2012
April 13, 2012
Greg’s Top Ten Favorite Hair Metal Bands
1. Motley Crue: Favorite Song - Piece of Your Action
2. Guns N’ Roses (80’s era): Favorite Song - Patience
3. Def Leppard: Favorite Song - Wasted
4. David Lee Roth Band: Favorite Song - Big Trouble
5. Scorpions: Favorite Song - Loving You Sunday Morning
6. Whitesnake: Favorite Song - Still of the Night
7. Skid Row: Favorite Song - 18 and Life
8. Twisted Sister: Favorite Song - I Wanna Rock
9. RATT: Favorite Song - Round and Round
10. Poison: Favorite Song - Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Greg’s Top Ten Favorite Hair Metal Bands
1. Motley Crue: Favorite Song - Piece of Your Action
2. Guns N’ Roses (80’s era): Favorite Song - Patience
3. Def Leppard: Favorite Song - Wasted
4. David Lee Roth Band: Favorite Song - Big Trouble
5. Scorpions: Favorite Song - Loving You Sunday Morning
6. Whitesnake: Favorite Song - Still of the Night
7. Skid Row: Favorite Song - 18 and Life
8. Twisted Sister: Favorite Song - I Wanna Rock
9. RATT: Favorite Song - Round and Round
10. Poison: Favorite Song - Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Thursday, April 12, 2012
April 11, 2012
Greg’s Top Ten Awesome NFL Records Held By Less Than Awesome Players:
1. 1986, Ken O’Brien, New York Jets - Became the only player in NFL history to post a 400-yard passing game with a perfect QB Rating of 158.3.
2. 1985, Stephone Paige, Kansas City Chiefs - His 309 receiving yards in one game are the most ever in NFL history in a non-overtime game. (Flipper Anderson of the Los Angeles Rams had 336 in an overtime game in 1989)
3. 1988, Timmy Smith, Washington Redskins - Hold Super Bowl record for most rushing yards in a single game with 204.
4. 1995, Glyn Milburn, Denver Broncos - Holds NFL record for most all-purpose yards in a single game with 404.
5. 1962-63, Tom Morrow, Oakland Raiders - Intercepted at least one pass in 8 straight games over a span of two seasons.
6. 1961, Charley Hennigan, Houston Oilers - Holds the NFL record for the most receiving yards in a single month with 822.
7. 1961, Lionel Taylor, Denver Broncos - Became the first player in NFL history to post a 100-reception season.
8. 1969, Steve O’Neal, New York Jets - Holds the NFL record for the longest punt, a 98-yarder.
9. 1991-1995, Gale Gilbert, Buffalo Bills/San Diego Chargers - Only player in NFL history to play in 5 straight Super Bowls.
10. 1951, Dub Jones, Cleveland Browns - Became first NFL player to score six touchdowns in single game. (since tied by Gale Sayers and Ernie Nevers)
Greg’s Top Ten Awesome NFL Records Held By Less Than Awesome Players:
1. 1986, Ken O’Brien, New York Jets - Became the only player in NFL history to post a 400-yard passing game with a perfect QB Rating of 158.3.
2. 1985, Stephone Paige, Kansas City Chiefs - His 309 receiving yards in one game are the most ever in NFL history in a non-overtime game. (Flipper Anderson of the Los Angeles Rams had 336 in an overtime game in 1989)
3. 1988, Timmy Smith, Washington Redskins - Hold Super Bowl record for most rushing yards in a single game with 204.
4. 1995, Glyn Milburn, Denver Broncos - Holds NFL record for most all-purpose yards in a single game with 404.
5. 1962-63, Tom Morrow, Oakland Raiders - Intercepted at least one pass in 8 straight games over a span of two seasons.
6. 1961, Charley Hennigan, Houston Oilers - Holds the NFL record for the most receiving yards in a single month with 822.
7. 1961, Lionel Taylor, Denver Broncos - Became the first player in NFL history to post a 100-reception season.
8. 1969, Steve O’Neal, New York Jets - Holds the NFL record for the longest punt, a 98-yarder.
9. 1991-1995, Gale Gilbert, Buffalo Bills/San Diego Chargers - Only player in NFL history to play in 5 straight Super Bowls.
10. 1951, Dub Jones, Cleveland Browns - Became first NFL player to score six touchdowns in single game. (since tied by Gale Sayers and Ernie Nevers)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)