Greg's Top Ten Current Artists I Cannot Stand:
1. LMFAO - When I found out the member of this "band" were the children of Motown Records founder Berry Gordy it all became clear why they have a hit record. I'm guessing without a legendary papa they'd be washing dishes an an IHOP somewhere because their "music" makes me want to stab myself in the ears with a dull knife. By the way, the lead DJ in the band named himself DJ Redfoo. Yeah, because Redfoo is just such an awesome name like Terminator X or DJ EZ Rock. Right now Jam Master Jay is rolling in his grave at the thought of DJ Redfoo owning the airwaves. The instant I started to bitch and complain about their music was the moment I knew I was getting old. **** you, LMFAO!
2. Nicki Minaj: Seriously, people, what the hell was that crap at The Grammy Awards last night? A freaking Exorcism? At least when Madonna was edgy on award shows she actually sang something halfway decent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyQ70oK5La4&feature=fvst
Obviously with that said, I'm not really upset by use of religious symbolism in art. I really couldn't care less. What was utterly lame about that crap we were witness to last night is that it was an utter mess. Let me see if I understand this, she's a possessed girl with a gay child inside of her named Roman who needs to show the world what a hack of an artist she is? I'd rather watch the un-watchable sequel to The Blair Witch Project than see that performance from Minaj again. Judging by most of the photos and videos I've seen of Minaj, I get the impression she's desperately trying to copy Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Rihanna at every turn.
3. Rihanna: Speaking of Rihanna, here's another one I'm completely over. When I first heard her music I actually thought it was okay. Now, after the ten millionth time of hearing the Umbrella song I think I'm done listening to her ever again. Even her new stuff is so overplayed and annoying and few things will get me to jump off an artists bandwagon more than overexposure. Again, I want to make it clear that I don't think she makes bad music, it's just tremendously overplayed to the extent that I'll change my radio station upon hearing her voice.
4. Kid Rock & 5. Nickelback: Here are two artists who I could have placed on this list ten years ago and yet they're still making the cut. Congrats, fellas, you're still utterly shitty a full decade later. In fact, I dare say I think they're both more shitty now than I did then because for the life of me I cannot fathom why they're both still relevant to ANYONE. Nickelback currently have a top ten record on the Billboard charts and Kid Rock is always showing up on MTV singing his hybrid of southern rock and hip hop. Hey, Rock, if I wanted to listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd and Limp Bizkit together I'd stick my head in an oven. These guys rule the charts at every turn and it causes me nausea when I consider the truly great artists out there who get about 1% of their exposure in the media.
6. Justin Bieber: Like I actually need to explain this one, right?
7. Lana Del Rey: I barely knew about her before her butchered performance on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago. Sadly, that absolutely horrific attempt at singing probably gained her more publicity than anything else she could have done short of join Nicki Minaj on stage at The Grammy Awards and stick a crucifix in her lady parts a la The Exorcist. Dont' believe me? Just watch this video and tell me you've seen a worst performance on SNL.
3. Rihanna: Speaking of Rihanna, here's another one I'm completely over. When I first heard her music I actually thought it was okay. Now, after the ten millionth time of hearing the Umbrella song I think I'm done listening to her ever again. Even her new stuff is so overplayed and annoying and few things will get me to jump off an artists bandwagon more than overexposure. Again, I want to make it clear that I don't think she makes bad music, it's just tremendously overplayed to the extent that I'll change my radio station upon hearing her voice.
4. Kid Rock & 5. Nickelback: Here are two artists who I could have placed on this list ten years ago and yet they're still making the cut. Congrats, fellas, you're still utterly shitty a full decade later. In fact, I dare say I think they're both more shitty now than I did then because for the life of me I cannot fathom why they're both still relevant to ANYONE. Nickelback currently have a top ten record on the Billboard charts and Kid Rock is always showing up on MTV singing his hybrid of southern rock and hip hop. Hey, Rock, if I wanted to listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd and Limp Bizkit together I'd stick my head in an oven. These guys rule the charts at every turn and it causes me nausea when I consider the truly great artists out there who get about 1% of their exposure in the media.
6. Justin Bieber: Like I actually need to explain this one, right?
7. Lana Del Rey: I barely knew about her before her butchered performance on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago. Sadly, that absolutely horrific attempt at singing probably gained her more publicity than anything else she could have done short of join Nicki Minaj on stage at The Grammy Awards and stick a crucifix in her lady parts a la The Exorcist. Dont' believe me? Just watch this video and tell me you've seen a worst performance on SNL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6I5ti0-GCE&feature=fvst
Even the Baha Men had a more compelling stint on SNL than this wannabe. She wouldn't make it past Hollywood week on American Idol yet she gets a shot at performing on SNL?
8. JG Wentworth: While writing this list their stupid freaking jingle came on the tube twice. Now I'm going to have it stuck in my head all day. Nothing says "awesome Monday" like hearing a battle between LMFAO and the JG Wentworth gang in my melon all freaking day. This is going to be an 8 Advil day to be certain.
9. Ke$ha: Ever notice how her voice sounds like a cat being murdered by a chainsaw? Ok, that's a little dramatic...forget the chainsaw part. I've heard from multiple sources that she's pitiful to listen to live which makes me wonder if she's on autotune in the studio. I've always felt she was trying too hard to get noticed by being outrageous without having substance to her music. Maybe I haven't listened to her closely enough, but the problem with that is that I can't get past listening to her for a moment let alone "closely enough" to understand her talent.
10. The Fray: I know a certain friend of mine who will be very disappointed to see this band on my list, but I can't help myself. When the lead singer whines the lyrics "How to Save a Life" I reach for a bottle of Pepto Bismol. I probably shouldn't include a band on here for one song making me that ill but I don't care. I'll keep Miley Cyrus off this list because "How to Save a Life" annoys me that much.
Even the Baha Men had a more compelling stint on SNL than this wannabe. She wouldn't make it past Hollywood week on American Idol yet she gets a shot at performing on SNL?
8. JG Wentworth: While writing this list their stupid freaking jingle came on the tube twice. Now I'm going to have it stuck in my head all day. Nothing says "awesome Monday" like hearing a battle between LMFAO and the JG Wentworth gang in my melon all freaking day. This is going to be an 8 Advil day to be certain.
9. Ke$ha: Ever notice how her voice sounds like a cat being murdered by a chainsaw? Ok, that's a little dramatic...forget the chainsaw part. I've heard from multiple sources that she's pitiful to listen to live which makes me wonder if she's on autotune in the studio. I've always felt she was trying too hard to get noticed by being outrageous without having substance to her music. Maybe I haven't listened to her closely enough, but the problem with that is that I can't get past listening to her for a moment let alone "closely enough" to understand her talent.
10. The Fray: I know a certain friend of mine who will be very disappointed to see this band on my list, but I can't help myself. When the lead singer whines the lyrics "How to Save a Life" I reach for a bottle of Pepto Bismol. I probably shouldn't include a band on here for one song making me that ill but I don't care. I'll keep Miley Cyrus off this list because "How to Save a Life" annoys me that much.
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