January 30, 2012

Greg's Top Ten Favorite Guilty Pleasure Movies:

1. Ice Pirates (1984): This one's a classic cheesy 80's romp that's part Indiana Jones and part Star Wars with a dash of Robert Urich. It was on HBO all the time when I was a kid and now it's a permanent part of my movie collection. Nothing says awesome like Spencer For Hire running around space in retro 80s apocalyptic attire trying to avoid getting space herpies. Yes, I said space herpies. Those of you that have seen this movie know how hilarious that scene is. It even starred Raider legend John Matuszak before he donned the famed Sloth outfit in "Goonies" a year later!

2. Legend (1985): I'll admit, this might be my favorite Tom Cruise movie not named "Top Gun" and it has nothing to do with Cruise being great in it. This movie is Tim Curry's finest role that doesn't involve him dressing like a transvestite. The makeup artists on the set of Legend turned Curry into Satan personified and it's truly a sight to see. My only knock on Legend is that Curry wasn't in the movie more because he's truly chewing scenery every time he shows up. In the end it's a love/fantasy movie with Tom Cruise, fairies, dwarfs and Ferris Bueller's girlfriend so it definitely qualifies as a guilty pleasure.

3. Last Action Hero (1993): Many avid Arnold Schwarzenegger fans will mention this movie as their least favorite. When you consider that it was Arnold's first big screen release to follow perhaps his finest movie, Terminator 2, it's understandable how people would be let down. Still, I can't find much not to love about this movie. It's completely cheesy, self-deprecating...a total mockery of everything Arnold Schwarzenegger and that's why it's awesome. This movie never takes itself seriously - instead it takes potshots at Arnold and the action genre. Do I like it more than classics like Predator or T2? Not a chance. But it certainly qualifies for this list!

4. Road House (1989): Over the years this movie has become more widely accepted as being a movie people aren't afraid to admit liking. That wasn't always the case. The lines are ultra-cheeseball ("pain don't hurt"), the action scenes are ridiculous (a guy gets his throat ripped out), the love scene is sappy, the bad guy is completely over-the-top and yet it works.

5. Rocky IV (1985): Best training sequence ever. Seriously. Who hasn't gone running up a hill with the soundtrack to this movie pumping through their veins? It's invigorating. Nonetheless, the whole training montage is ridiculously silly. Rocky Balboa is seen weightlifting boulders, running through the wastelands of Russia, pulling people on a carriage while his roided-up opponent is training in Russia's most technologically advanced facilities. It introduced the world to the acting skills of Dolph Lundgren and Brigitte Nielsen, which isn't saying much. It's far from the quality movies that Rocky I and II are, but it might be infinitely more re-watchable.

6. Just One of the Guys (1985): Not sure how many have seen this little gem, but it's freaking awesome. A high school girl dresses like a boy to experience what it's like on the other side of the gender fence. It's rarely on television, hard to find on DVD, but I'll watch it every time I get the chance.

7. Weekend at Bernies (1989): Terrible acting? Check. Completely unbelievable story? Check. Dumber than dumb antagonists? Check. Heroes who have no clue what they're doing? Check.

8. Howard the Duck (1986): For those of you that hate George Lucas, this movie is likely the flick that you'll point out as the beginning of the end of Lucas' magic as a filmmaker. I'll argue it happened far earlier, but that's beside the point. This movie is utterly terrible yet totally watchable. You have to wonder if Lea Thompson still cringes when people mention that she nearly had a love scene with a guy in a duck costume. It's that bad. Still, I love this movie because it's so terrible and the theme song at the conclusion is so damn catchy.

9. Teen Wolf (1985): Don't even begin trying to defend this movie by saying how it's one of Michael J. Fox's best films. Have you ever really watched this movie closely? It's freaking awful...but that's why it's so damn good. Who didn't want to "wolf up" and ride atop a van through the city and follow it up by completely schooling everyone in a pick-up basketball game?

10. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989): Don't ask. Maybe I just want to go camping at Yosemite with the crew of the Enterprise. It's terrible, especially when you consider it's place in the Trek canon of being wedged between two of the most beloved Trek movies of all time (Voyage Home & Undiscovered Country), but I still find myself watching it.